Conversations With Scammers

I was recently contacted via Google Hangouts by someone I once sold a lens to. It was immediately obvious that his account had been compromised.

Not Greg: hi
Me: How are you, sir?
Not Greg: i am son
please i need an urgent assistance from you
very urgent
i have an outstanding bill i need to pay and i am overseas right now
i need your help
to settle the bill
once i return back to town
i will reimburse you
Me: Nice try. Stay where you are and men in black suits will be by to collect you.
Not Greg: tchew
fuck ogg
off
broke bitch
Me: Apparently, I’m not the broke one. I’m not the one trying to scam people out of money they’ve earned. Get a job.
Not Greg: ok bro
you can help me get one
i will appreciate
cause the govt fucks me everyday
so ion need sex
Me: Are you physically unable to work?
Not Greg: nope bro
cant you understand simple sentence
Me: I don’t understand how you can’t find a job if you’re physically able to work. Hell, even flipping burgers is better than nothing.
Not Greg: yes bro
anything is better than nothing at all
can you giv me 300$
we can be friends bro
im a hacker
+1 ### ### #### (his phone number)
Me: Nope. No hand outs. Instead of scamming people, you should be out looking for work. Hell, hit up a moving company and get some cash labor work. Back in ’96 when I did it, it was $10/hour cash. I’m sure it’s gone up since then.
Not Greg: thats my number we can be friends
Me: You could start by giving Greg his account back.
Not Greg: sure i will
pls bro
help me 300$
Me: No handouts.
Not Greg: ok
im gonn giv greg back his acc
Me: That would be very cool of you.
Not Greg: aii take care
im broke thats why
im doing this ok
no strings
Me: You too. Good luck with the job hunt. I know what it’s like to be broke. Just gotta keep trying.

Aside from the overall evilness of trying to scam people out of money, the dude ended up being pretty decent. No idea if he’ll actually give the account back to its rightful owner, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

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